Grief Archives

“Take Flight” Butterfly Release and Memorial Event Recap

June 26, 2019 by TRU Community Care

Approximately 200 people gathered Saturday at TRU PACE in Lafayette to remember lost loved ones, many of whom received hospice care from TRU Community Care. Hoping to be an annual tradition in the community, this celebration of life is an important part of the grief process for many family members coping with a loss. To view all pictures from the event, please visit the Google Photos album or the Facebook album.

CEO of TRU Community Care, Michael McHale, welcomed guests, spoke about the importance of coming together with others experiencing grief, and shared a poem called A Symbol of Hope.

American Legion Post 111 Lafayette posted the colors and led the audience in the Pledge of Allegiance in honor of our veterans.

TRU Grief Counselor, Richard Mercer, shared a personal story of friendship and loss and encouraged community members to share their own stories during their journey with grief.

Janie Blakely, TRU Chaplain, facilitated a time for sharing of memories. Attendees took turns standing up and vocalizing something special about the people they lost.

The weather cleared just in time for everyone to adjourn outside and release their butterflies in the TRU Labyrinth. Representing the transition of one life form to another, the butterflies were released into the air.

Participants enjoyed music from flutist Laurie Rugenstein and snacks made by our volunteers throughout the morning. Everyone present shared in a sense of community and many expressed how meaningful the event was for them.

“The butterfly event on Saturday was beautiful. Thank you for bringing it to us. I loved watching my friend fly away from me. It was a beautiful visualization of what happened. Thanks for all you do to bring peace to people in grief.” – TRU Volunteer and “Take Flight” attendee

Thank you to everyone who took part in this special day.

To learn more about other upcoming TRU Community Care events, please visit our 2019 Events page.

Healing with Horses Through Grief and Loss

June 20, 2019 by Elizabeth Neufeld

Healing with Horses is a program of TRU Community Care and a part of our grief services for youth coping with death and loss. This week we sat down with Raegan Gyorffy, the Director of Grief and Volunteer Services, to gain insight into the immeasurable value of the program.

While describing the group and how the horses impact the participants’ lives, Raegan says, ”The group is truly special. Horses are large and intuitive, able to mirror emotions, and provide a conduit for conversation and a good alternative to traditional group talks.”

The program runs for an 8-week period in the fall and again in the spring. Each week the participants meet for themed sessions that pair conversation with interaction and care for the horses. Youth are partnered with one another based on the similarity of age, their stage of grief, and their type of loss. Additionally, they are matched with a horse for added support. Each program has eight youth and up to six adults to ensure the safety and care for everyone involved.

A coordinator of the program expresses her experience and perspective of the impact the horses have in the participant’s grief process by explaining that,

“The relationship with the horse offers connection that helps ground the kids and breaks down barriers. We often see kids who are silent during the talking circle and come alive and expand once they are with the horses. It seems to offer a non-threatening space for kids to open up, move their bodies, and engage their senses in a way that gives them access to their emotions and thoughts. Also, being outside, getting exercise and having fun are all healthy ways to cope with big emotions!”

She herself has learned from the youth participants how to cope with grief and loss, the power of connection and being understood, and the importance of the power of feeling seen in our grief. One father told her that his son says “grief camp” is his son’s favorite activity of all the things he does for fun.

Stories like these are truly why Grief Services and specialized programs like Healing with Horses are so crucial to the heart of TRU Community Care. We could not do it without the heart and dedication of our staff, volunteers, families, donors, and overarching community.

To learn more about Grief Services and how you can become involved with Healing with Horses, please visit our Services and Volunteer page.

What does your journey through grief look like?

March 4, 2019 by TRU Community Care

In honor of National Social Workers’ month, TRU’s Director of Volunteers and Grief Support Services, Raegan Gyorffy, LCSW, shares on bringing people from despair to hope.

Death is as universal as birth. No one escapes its reach. This includes Grief Counselors. What draws most to this profession is the touch of death itself in our personal lives. It sets us on a path of exploration and slogging forward, until ultimately we find some comfort and peace. That was it for me.

When death touched my life, the thing I came back to was Hope. This is what sets my practice apart, and what I infuse into my work with others journeying through grief.

Paul E. Miller captured it perfectly when he wrote:

What’s the point of love if the journey ends in despair? Love is what you do on the journey. Faith is how you make it through the journey. But hope is the end of the journey. Without hope, love makes no sense. – Love Walked Among Us

Helping people find their way back to hope from despair is a true joy for me. Everyone’s hope is different, but it is the essential ingredient to a life well lived and a life well memorialized. Walking with my clients as they seek to find a hope to anchor them to the “land of the living” again is a sacred journey.

Grief often muddles our brains. Grief makes life difficult to navigate. Grief feels like swimming in the middle of an unending pool. You get tired. You go under water. You have to find the energy to somehow fight to get your head back above water.

This is where grief counseling is helpful. We strive to help you find your strength again when you feel depleted. Our counselors work with you to find your Hope.

Sometimes this journey is a short one, sometimes it is longer. Honestly, no one’s journey to hope is the same. At TRU Community Care we’re here to guide you as you integrate the loss of your loved one into your everyday life for however long that takes. We have different ways of providing that support, from individual counseling to support groups, informational mailings and periodic phone calls, there are many ways to provide just the right support for you. We strive to tailor the grief support experience to the individual’s needs so that you have just what you need when you need it.

– Raegan Gyorffy, LCSW

Please share about your journey through grief and learn more about TRU’s grief support services.

TRU Grief News: Grieving Our Losses

April 7, 2017 by TRU Community Care

Image Credit: Markus Spiske

It’s important for us to pay attention to our emotions. Naturally, we have less difficulty with the so-called positive emotions. People don’t mind feeling joy and happiness.

Fear, grief, and despair are uncomfortable. In our culture, we call them “negative” and think of them as “bad.” But these emotions are an inevitable part of the human experience – a rich, fertile, dark soil from which something unexpected can bloom. They bring us important information about ourselves and the world and can be vehicles of profound transformation.

If we try to escape from a hard grief, we may experience a general numbness. It is difficult to live a full life if we haven’t grieved our losses.

Adapted from an interview with Miriam Greenspan by Barbara Platek.

Learn more about TRU Community Care Grief Services.

TRU Grief News: Guilt or Regret

March 31, 2017 by TRU Community Care

Image Credit: Dirk Sebregts

Guilt can be a very powerful and isolating emotion, causing family and friends to withdraw from you for fear of saying the wrong thing. If you are feeling guilty about something, even if there is no basis for your guilt, you may be inclined to keep it to yourself, never verbalizing what you are thinking.

The possibilities for feeling guilty or regretful are infinite. Regret often gets confused with guilt, which makes dealing with it difficult. It may help to clarify in your own mind which it is you are experiencing.

Regrets are the things you wish you had done or said before your loved one died. Guilt, on the other hand, is what you feel when you believe you have done something wrong.

If you can’t seem to resolve your guilt feelings or regrets on your own, you might ask a trusted friend or relative to help you talk them out. Or, if you’d rather not share in this way, you may want to find a counselor or religious advisor who can help you.

Be assured that you can get relief from these powerful feelings and even experience emotional growth.

Adapted from The Mourning Handbook by Helen Fitzgerald

Learn more about TRU Community Care Grief Services.

TRU Grief News: A Journey of Growth and Courage

March 24, 2017 by TRU Community Care

Image Credit: Mark Harpur via Unsplash

As your grief process unfolds, you may learn things about yourself that you never knew before.

Know that it is okay to be angry. You are entitled to your anger and it is important to find ways to deal with it constructively.

You may choose to expend it physically by walking, running, or exercising. You may, instead, cry it out, talk it out, write about it, meditate, or pray.
In this journey of growth and courage, fear too needs to be recognized and acknowledged.

As you confront your fears, you may discover hidden strengths and resources within yourself.

Guilt is a difficult emotion. By giving guilt its full expression, you may come to understand its meaning and its place.

Learn more about TRU Community Care Grief Services.

TRU Grief News: Anger, Fear, and Guilt

March 15, 2017 by TRU Community Care

Image Credit: Eutah Mizushima via Unsplash

While the majority of people naturally associate sadness or depression with grief, other very common emotions evoked by the grief response are anger, fear, and guilt.

Anger, a very potent emotion, is always present during the time of grief but may not always be recognized. Anger can take on many forms and present itself in a variety of ways, from irritability to fist-pounding rage. It’s not uncommon for the bereaved to deny their anger or, for that matter, to be completely unaware of it.

In times of deep sorrow and grief, fear is an emotion not often discussed. Fear may manifest itself as mild anxiety or sheer terror. A spouse may feel fear about being alone or lonely. A parent may fear that she’ll never recover from the death of a child, or a child may fear the loss of the other parent, too.

Guilt, like anger and fear, is neither good nor bad. It simply is. Guilt can’t be stuffed down without future consequences. It needs to be acknowledged and experienced.

While feelings of anger, fear, and guilt are often difficult to deal with, it is only by allowing these feelings, in all their dimensions, that freedom to heal and be whole again finally arrives.

Learn more about TRU Community Care Grief Services

Holiday Grief – You’re Not Alone

December 16, 2016 by TRU Community Care

Do the holidays make you feel uneasy? They are fast approaching. If you’re dreading them due to the loss of someone you love, know that your feelings are normal and you are not alone. Read on for tips on how to get through these days.

Be Open to New Traditions
For some, continuing traditions without their loved one there may be an important way to continue sharing their memory. For others, it may be more comforting to develop new rituals to help lessen the pain and immediacy of the loss.

Accept the Sadness
Let yourself feel your feelings. By allowing yourself to experience the sadness, it will pass more quickly than if you ignore it, hoping it will go away.

Remember Your Loved One
Light a candle, tell a funny story, create ornaments using photos, and talk about your special someone to keep the memories alive.

Reduce Your Stress
Take the time to prioritize what should be done, such as holiday baking, shopping for gifts, and decorating. Don’t try to do everything at once, and don’t overextend yourself or the commitments you make to others. Trust yourself first and foremost.

Practice Extreme Self-Care
Be gentle with yourself. You’ll feel so much better when you listen to your body and nurture it with the things it needs. Be just as kind to yourself as you were to your loved one.

Discover Small Joys
Gratitude makes for a happy heart. Take delight in the little things. Whether it’s the laughter of children or a hot mug of coffee, look for the good in each day.

Get more information on TRU Community Care’s grief services by calling 303.604.5300 or visit our Grief Services page.

TRU Grief Services Invites Community to Lights of Life Holiday Remembrance

October 27, 2016 by TRU Community Care

This holiday season, TRU Community Care invites you to remember someone who has been special in your life by attending our Lights of Life Holiday Remembrance Event on Saturday, December 3, 2016 at 5:00 p.m.

Join TRU Community Care’s Grief Services department for a holiday remembrance ceremony on Dec. 8.

Our indoor event will feature a reading of names, music, and a luminaria ritual, along with light refreshments. You will have a chance to connect with others who are in similar situations and feel more supported going into the holidays.

Guests are invited to bring a photo or memento to place on our memory table. If you choose, you may also bring a story, poem, or reading to share during a designated time in the service. You may also come and just sit quietly.

Directions

2593 Park Lane, Lafayette, CO

TRU Community Care’s Grief Services office is located on the corner of Forest Park Circle and Park Lane in Lafayette, near the intersection of 95th and Arapahoe. The building is cream stucco with stone and has signs out front indicating that both TRU Grief Services and TRU Pace are housed in the building.

From the West
On Arapahoe going East, you’ll cross over 95th Street and take your first right on Forest Park Circle. Our building will be the second building on the left.

From the East
Going West on Arapahoe, you’ll cross over HWY 287 and drive about 1.3 miles. You’ll take a left onto Forest Park Circle and the office is will be the second building on the left.

Widowed Seniors Grief Support Group Has New Location

August 18, 2016 by TRU Community Care

The new TRU Community Care Grief Services and PACE Center building.

TRU Community Care’s Widowed Seniors Grief Support Group (formerly known as the Widowed Persons Service Support Meeting) has changed its meeting location. The group, which meets the fourth Wednesday of each month from 10 a.m. – 12 p.m., will now convene at the new TRU Grief Services building located at 2593 Park Lane in Lafayette, CO.

The death of a spouse has been identified as one of the greatest stressors a person can experience. Coping with the emotional upheaval and social re-adjustment that this crisis brings can be overwhelming and incapacitating.

The purpose of this group is to offer confidential support to those who have experienced the death of a spouse or partner.

Please call 303.604.5213 for more information or visit our grief services page.

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