7 Tips for Surviving Mother’s Day When Your Child Has Died

Over the first year following a death, you’ll have to go through the “firsts”—the first birthday, holiday season, and other special days. It can be helpful to prepare for these special days so you don’t get caught off guard.

Tip 1: Be gentle with yourself

You may feel anger, sadness, guilt or a range of other emotions because your child died before you. These emotions are very common with grief—don’t try to suppress them.

Tip 2:  Seek out emotional support

Seeking support is a sign of courage, not weakness. Everyone grieves in their own time and their own way.

Tip 3: Be patient with yourself

Talk openly with trusted family and friends about your child and encourage them to talk openly with you too—hearing your child’s name mentioned can be helpful. Plant a flower or tree with a marker that bears your baby’s name.

Tip 4: Create your own memorial

You can be creative and put your energy into doing something in memory of your child.

Tip 5: Light a candle

If you never held your baby due to a pregnancy loss, celebrate your child by lighting a candle.

Tip 6: Give yourself permission to grieve, talk, and journal

If you have not been able to conceive, follow the suggestions above that are right for you. Give yourself permission to grieve, talk, and journal.

Tip 7: Talk about your feelings with your spouse

Talk about your feelings with your spouse and encourage him or her to express to you how they are feeling.

If you’d like information or resources on grief and child loss, call (303) 604-5300, email griefservices@trucare.org, or visit our grief services page.